Reno’s Preciousss
by JeanneAndHerAlters
Summary: Reno found a little something, and now the ShinRa higher-ups are paying for it. Just what did Reno find? What's going to happen? To Reno-xxxXXXxxx. One-shot. Rated T because it can't be K.


**This goes out to Reno-xxxXXXxxx! Happy Birthday!**

**Me: Well it's my buddy reno-xxxXXXxxx's birthday sometime soon. I may be late, I may be early, I may be on time. I don't know, I didn't bother getting the date. Now I did a rather crappy chapter of something just for her last time it was this time of year. This time she gets a one-shot!**

**Zeke: Woo-hoo! That's sarcasm!**

**Me: Shut up you red headed chocobo. Oh and Reno? I changed the idea I originally had because it wasn't working. Hope you enjoy! Thank you Aeriths-Rain for the idea of Reno with a… well I can't say with what. That would spoil the surprise wouldn't it? I totally warped the idea huh Aerith? Shouldn't have given me something so vague to work with.**

**Disclaimer says that it say all.**

Zack bounced down the hallway looking around for a certain red-headed Turk. He had already checked Genesis and Angeal's office. It had been creepy to walk in and see the red coat wearing First Class reading poetry while his mentor discreetly burned another copy of Loveless.

The Turk leader stumbled into the hallway out of a random office. "Tseng! Hey Tseng have you seen Reno?" Zack asked, bouncing to a stop.

"No and did you by chance have sugar?" Tseng asked, straightening his suit slightly.

"Hey how'd you guess?! Anyway I heard from Rude who heard from Scarlet who heard from Hojo who heard from Sephiroth that Reno found something cool! BYE!" Zack zoomed off and Rufus walked out of the office.

"What was that about?" the blond inquired, as pristine as ever.

"Zack had sugar again," Tseng sighed and walked followed Rufus back into the office. "Whose turn is it to deal?" Rufus handed him the deck of cards with a grin. _I really hate Go Fish,_ Tseng sighed again.

The raven haired SOLDIER skidded to a stop outside his superior's office. "Hey Sephy-roth!" Zack called, pounding on the door. The silver haired general opened the door with a glare. "You answered! SCORE! Have you seen Re-" the door slammed in his face. Pouting Zack shot off again.

"He got into the sugar again?" Cloud asked from his position. He was lounging on the couch and had been for a few hours. Sephiroth nodded and picked up his paintbrush again. Cloud was about to shake his head in disbelief when the General glared at the blond MP. "Are you done yet?"

"No," Sephiroth snapped and resumed painting.

The Lieutenant stared at the door long and hard. The last place he had yet to check in the entire ShinRa building. Reno's office. He hesitantly knocked on the door and nearly jumped out of his pants when a voice told him to come in.

Zack popped his head in and saw Reno sitting in the middle of the floor. "Get in here before someone sees!" Reno waved the hedgehog in. "It's a-"

"WOW!" Zack squealed and hugged it.

"Back of SOLDIER boy its mine," Reno pulled it out of Zack's grasp and cradled it to his chest. Pouting, Zack wandered out of the office. With an evil gleam in his eye Reno put the tiny creature down.

"You and me Mr. Pom-pom you and me. We shall rule the building! What say you?" Reno asked, prodding it.

"Yes kupo!" Mr. Pom-pom laughed gleefully, the same evil glint in its beady black eyes.

**Later**

Tseng looked up as he heard evil laughter coming from the vents and looked up from his hand. Rufus took the chance to take a quick peek. "Got any fives" a card was handed over. "Kings?" another card. "Ace?" another card. "Seve-"  
"You peeked. You lose," Tseng glared. Rufus sighed and took his winnings anyway. The vent cover exploded outwards and their cards quickly disappeared. Rufus took one look at the cardless table and fell over with a wail of despair. "Sir?"

"The cards Tseng! They're gone! How will I ever survive!" Rufus wailed, clutching the Turk's sleeve.

"We'll retrieve the cards even if Elena dies trying. Let's go sir," Tseng carefully removed the Vice-President from his sleeve.

The General carefully mixed colors, examining Cloud carefully. "You moved," he growled. Cloud glared back at Sephiroth.

"I did not! You're going senile!" the blond snapped. Sephiroth snorted and went back to painting. "Are you don yet?" Cloud asked for the thirty-first time. The silver haired General knew this because he'd been counting.

"Almost," he replied just as the vent cover exploded outward with a maniacal laugh. Sephiroth picked himself off the ground only to discover the couch was empty. He grabbed Masamune and stormed out of the office. He was going to get his model back even if he had to kill the entire populace of Nibleheim and burn it to the ground.

Genesis looked up at Angeal, raising a delicate eyebrow at the smell of smoke. "What are you burning this time?" he inquired, carefully closing his book of poems and setting it on the desk. Angeal's head snapped up and he blinked.

"The paperwork Reno gave me?" fortunately for him, cackling from the vents distracted his friend. Genesis toppled off the desk as the vent cover nearly hit him. "My lighter's gone!" Angeal yelled, accidentally revealing the half burned copy of Loveless.

Genesis was about to strangle him when he noticed his book was gone. "My book, oh my precious book!" The two exchanged looks and walked out of the office in a rage.

They spotted Tseng, Rufus, and Sephiroth standing in a huddle, whispering heatedly. "Have you seen my lighter? It just got stolen," the three turned towards them. Rufus was clinging to Tseng, who looked resigned about it, Sephiroth had paint smudges all over him. "What happened to you three?"

"Someone stole Rufus's cards and Sephiroth's model," Tseng stated. Angeal's eyes widened, someone would dare to steal the most important objects of two very powerful people? Sephiroth was known to kill if someone so much as looked at his current model wrong, and Rufus once had Tseng shove a secretary out a sixtieth floor window for touch one of his cards.

"What do you suggest we do gentlemen?" Genesis asked, eye twitching. Angeal's last student was down in the labs being prodded to see just what one of Genesis's random fits of anger would do to a Second Class SOLDIER. Poor kid has touched a copy of Loveless.

"There is only one person in the building crazy enough, besides Hojo, who would do this. Unfortunately-" Sephiroth was cut off.

"He's a Turk," Tseng stated. "More specifically," he paused and everyone leaned in a bit. "Reno," a nearby secretary screamed in horror and collapsed. Angeal's eyes widened, Rufus nearly fainted, and Genesis cursed the Goddess for letting the psycho steal his book. "Only one person knows where he is."  
"Who?" Angeal asked with a sudden sense of dread.

"Lieutenant Fair," Tseng replied. "We must interrogate him and get the information at all costs. Are you up for it?" Angeal nodded reluctantly.

The aforementioned Lieutenant walked down the hallway, whistling happily. A hand pulled him into a closet and he was encased in darkness. "Whoa! What's going on?" He spotted three pairs of glowing eyes. "Seph? Genesis? Angeal?"

"Mr. Fair we need to know where my Second is," Tseng's voice floated out of the empty space between Sephiroth and Angeal.

"I don't know! I left him in his office awhile ago! Why?" Zack asked, looking at the empty space. Tseng quickly explained, and Zack gasped. Reno wouldn't be crazy enough to- wait. Cloud was Sephiroth's model! That meant the crazy red head stole his little buddy. "He stole my Chocobo! Let's get him!"

**A short while afterwards**

The six of them stood in front of the office door. The blackened dirty wood seemed like a portal to the dark land of the underworld. This place wasn't meant to be entered without permission and most never returned. Tseng carefully pushed it open, expecting a stapler or knife to fly at his head any moment.

"So you've arrived!" Reno cackled from his seat. It was a leather swivel chair with a high back.

"Arrived they have kupo!" the voice drew their attention to the being sitting in the Turk's lap.

"I suppose you want your precious items back?" Reno gestured towards the corner. A lighter, a deck of cards, a book, and Cloud were laying there. The blond was glaring indignantly at Reno but couldn't do anything due to being tied up. "You can have them back on one condition. Mr. Pom-pom tell them the condition."  
"Reno hand the items over and the-"  
"NEVER! Mr. Pom-pom is mine!" Reno hissed, glaring at Angeal. The SOLDIER quickly backed up, deciding to let Tseng deal with his psycho Second. "Tell them Mr. Pom-pom!"

"You give us control of the building kupo!" Mr. Pom-pom chimed. Zack would have melted in a puddle of 'awhs' if the thing didn't sound so evil.

"We can't do that Mr. Pom-pom. I'm sorry but its not in our power," Tseng said, hand carefully inching towards his pocket. Thankfully the crazed duo didn't notice and by the time they had a tranquilizer dart had been shot at them both. "Zack make sure Cloud is safe, Sir get your cards, and Genesis get your books. Sephiroth secure the moogle while I get Reno."

The silver haired man quickly grabbed the moogle, who blinked up at him cutely. "Why did he go crazy?" Sephiroth asked, nudging Reno's foot with his own. Tseng shrugged and whacked Reno upside the head. Reno whined, clutching his now aching head, and pouted. "What's his punishment?"

"He gets to clean up after the company mascot. I heard the chocobo has had diarrhea for awhile," Tseng replied watching the people trail out, items clutched in hand, or in Zack's case on shoulder. It had been a fairly happy ending after all.

**I hope you liked it Reno-xxxXXXxxx! I hoped everyone else liked it too! Please review yeah? **


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